Do Men have the right to question Feminism?
“Oh my dear God! You used the F-word?? No, it is not a mother scolding
her child for swearing, but expressing her shock at the use of the word
?feminism’. What indeed is feminism? To ask a man, who has grown up in
a dominant patriarchal society (such as me), to define feminism is
asking for an opinion or definition, prone to prejudice and stereotype. The
typical male definition of feminism, is a group of women propagating a
philosophy and following the maxim that all men are chauvinist pigs.
Also, that all feminists are hardcore man haters. Needless to say
implies that only women are or can be feminists and the men who support
them are either sissies or against being a man.
Nothing in fact could be farther from the truth.Feminists are not man
haters at all, feminism is not a male hate group of women, and it is in
fact the union of ideology and activism. A critical philosophy, a way
of life, a critical look at the patriarchal society that dominates the
world, even feminist philosophers have not been able to give a single
definition. Some of the currently used definitions are: (a) a doctrine
advocating social and political rights for women equal to those of men;(b) an organized movement for the attainment of these rights;(c) the
assertion of the claims of women as a group and the body of theory
women have created;(d) belief in the necessity of large-scale social
change in order to increase the power of women.”I myself have never been able to figure out precisely what feminism
is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express
sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.?
- Rebecca West in ?The Clarion’, 1913.Where do men come into feminism? Is there such a thing as male
feminism? Can a man be a feminist at all? Some thoughts men/boys have,
which make them doubt their support. Add to that the male stereotype,
and patriarchal society, reinforces the paradigm that they should give
up such blasphemous thinking. Personally I had these doubts myself and
tried umpteen times to justify the ?Male Gaze’ (ogling and lewd
gawking) believing that women at most times overreacted until I saw a
documentary ?Unlimited Girls’ (Dir. Paromita Vohra) about feminism.
Shattering the notion I had of being a feminist and a female supporter,
also encouraging the change in thought of actually becoming one.
Men can most definitely be feminists, it is not unmanly, nor is it
being a sissy and dominated by women.Patriarchal society has ingrained
in us so deeply the thought that women are lesser to men, that it is
bound to surface (even if it is subconscious). Unlearning many rules
and customs taught to me, I had a hurdle to climb and something so
simple as a documentary film brought in that realisation. Such is the
dominance of patriarchy that mothers, mother-in-laws, grandmothers and
even sometimes sisters reinforce the superiority of the man.”A woman
is a woman’s biggest enemy!? is it not centuries of male domination
speaking through a woman? Life does not exist beyond the patriarchal
male dominated society, for a woman and more so a man who cannot think
or know otherwise, it is an unnatural deviation from life.
Is asking to be treated equally wrong? Some uncomfortable questions
feminists ask, and why not? ?Service to man is service to God!’ Man
includes women, mankind includes women. Why think of them as lesser
beings? Why refer to women as ?them’?Mere physical differences cannot
be the reason for discrimination (even in the most subtle form). Men
hide behind the veil of religion, which according to them advocates
that women are indeed the lesser being. The right to give birth, to
grant life, is that what makes women lesser mortals? Religion
interpreted (in most cases twisted) by men for men, to uphold the
?values’ of a patriarchal society. Men, we have a long way to go before
women trust us completely. What do women want? they want, what they
deserved from the very beginning, the respect and equality , which is
not a male prerogative.
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Tags: assertion, attainment, being a man, critical philosophy, definition of feminism, doormat, f word, feminist philosophers, feminists, group of women, hardcore man, hate group, male stereotype, man haters, maxim, patriarchal society, rebecca west, sentiments, sissies, theory women